Friday, April 12, 2013

'Undressed' by Avery Aster Super Book Blast!

25 New Yorker Insights Learned in Undressed by Avery Aster
  • Your vagina can take a guy’s shaft and nuts…at the same time.
  • Always name your butt plug after Anderson Cooper.
  • Pre-ejaculation while jetting a plane over Italy causes turbulence.
  • Never let a dog sleep in your bed, especially three dogs. It’ll ruin your sex life.
  • If he’s as hung as an Evian bottle, it’s best to look away.
  • Always retain the legal services of female lawyers, particularly ones named; Sarah Goldbaum and Hannah Goldstein.
  • Never allow your mother to spend your line of credit on a psychic from the Caribbean.
  • Sexual frustration leads to good business practices, enough to earn three hundred million dollars.
  • If Bergdorf’s, Barney’s and Saks Fifth Avenue reject your upcoming fashion collections try selling it to JCPenny’s.
  • Use your American Express reward points wisely.
  • Bellini cocktail consumption will induce foot fetishes.
  • Swedish Fish, Now & Later, and Gummy Bears from Dylan’s Candy Bar are perfect for your fuck-it bucket.
  • Everyone should be so lucky to have a best friend like Taddy Brill.
  • Never drive a Ford Thunderbird off a cliff thinking you’re Thelma & Louise.
  • Stay away from any woman named Scilla or Ottavia.
  • Wearing Tory Burch ballet flats while racing a sports car may cause ones clitoris to hum.
  • Think twice before sitting Lady Gaga and Madonna next to one another at your fashion show.
  • Prada and a condom, when worn together, are known to make bisexual men go bonkbuster cra-cra.
  • Altering a vintage Valentino dress, formerly worn by socialite Nati Abascal, may land you on the red carpet.
  • We should all get fucked in Fendi.
  • When in love, you can have as many orgasms as you like…in one day!
  • Slow dancing to Giuseppe Verdi enhances one’s emotional state.
  • Never argue with your lover in public, above all—never in front of Anna Wintour, Marc Jacobs, or Karl Lagerfeld.
  • Playing Simon Says, in bed, may lead one to reveal their true feelings. So will strip dancing in front of him to the song Girls, Girls, Girls by Mötley Crüe.
  • And finally, he must always say, “I love you,” first.
Avery will be awarding a 6-month membership to Dylan's Candy Bar Candy of the month Club to one randomly drawn commenter. In the novel, the heroine makes herself Fuck-it Buckets which are candy filled buckets from Dylan’s Candy bar (or any candy store) when she's stressed out. Follow the tour for more chances to win!


  1. I gotta know why to name your butt plug Anderson Cooper? LOL
    hschrock24112 at yahoo dot com

  2. what a sexy book! And a great giveaway :)

    carrie dot rogozinski at

  3. This is a first for me...seeing this prize giveaway. How creative. Love it!
    catherinelee100 at gmail dot com

  4. This sounds like so much fun!

    Trix, vitajex(at)aol(dot)com

  5. Thank you for hosting us Books to Light Your Fire

    RedHeaded Bookworm...what would you name your butt plug? ;-)

  6. lol...I can't imagine what prompted the rule about the dogs and bed...must be a story behind that one!!!

    andralynn7 AT gmail DOT com

  7. Sounds fun

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com


  9. I suppose it depends what size Evian bottle.


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