'Undressed' by Avery Aster Super Book Blast!

25 New Yorker Insights Learned in Undressed by Avery Aster

Sex

• Your vagina can take a guy’s shaft and nuts…at the same time.
• Always name your butt plug after Anderson Cooper.
• Pre-ejaculation while jetting a plane over Italy causes turbulence.
• Never let a dog sleep in your bed, especially three dogs. It’ll ruin your sex life.
• If he’s as hung as an Evian bottle, it’s best to look away.

 Money

• Always retain the legal services of female lawyers, particularly ones named; Sarah Goldbaum and Hannah Goldstein.
• Never allow your mother to spend your line of credit on a psychic from the Caribbean.
• Sexual frustration leads to good business practices, enough to earn three hundred million dollars.
• If Bergdorf’s, Barney’s and Saks Fifth Avenue reject your upcoming fashion collections try selling it to JCPenny’s.
• Use your American Express reward points wisely.

 Life

• Bellini cocktail consumption will induce foot fetishes.
• Swedish Fish, Now & Later, and Gummy Bears from Dylan’s Candy Bar are perfect for your fuck-it bucket.
• Everyone should be so lucky to have a best friend like Taddy Brill.
• Never drive a Ford Thunderbird off a cliff thinking you’re Thelma & Louise.
• Stay away from any woman named Scilla or Ottavia.

 Fashion

• Wearing Tory Burch ballet flats while racing a sports car may cause ones clitoris to hum.
• Think twice before sitting Lady Gaga and Madonna next to one another at your fashion show.
• Prada and a condom, when worn together, are known to make bisexual men go bonkbuster cra-cra.
• Altering a vintage Valentino dress, formerly worn by socialite Nati Abascal, may land you on the red carpet.
• We should all get fucked in Fendi.

 Love

• When in love, you can have as many orgasms as you like…in one day!
• Slow dancing to Giuseppe Verdi enhances one’s emotional state.
• Never argue with your lover in public, above all—never in front of Anna Wintour, Marc Jacobs, or Karl Lagerfeld.
• Playing Simon Says, in bed, may lead one to reveal their true feelings. So will strip dancing in front of him to the song Girls, Girls, Girls by Mötley Crüe.
• And finally, he must always say, “I love you,” first.

Avery will be awarding a 6-month membership to Dylan's Candy Bar Candy of the month Club to one randomly drawn commenter. In the novel, the heroine makes herself Fuck-it Buckets which are candy filled buckets from Dylan’s Candy bar (or any candy store) when she's stressed out. Follow the tour for more chances to win!